What am I looking for?

Something about mommying pushes me to the end of my of myself--pretty much every day--or at least several times a day. I stay home with the kids and we're starting homeschool in the Fall, so we're together A LOT. I love it, I really do, and I'm so thankful for it, but it pushes all my buttons and challenges all my shiny, but fake idols that I love more than Jesus (including a desire for space and control over that space, and a desire for an appearance of togetherness and sanity).

Likely you're in some kind of situation that's pushing you beyond yourself.

I find myself looking for distraction, for a get-away, for something more exciting than my little, often frustrating, world. It can be Pinterest, the news, Instagram, shopping, or chocolate. I think all those things are okay, but they're not really what I'm looking for.

"What are you looking for that you can't find in me?" That's what I felt God asking me as I woke up one day with that searching feeling. 

What is more encouraging than God's perfect words ("the words of the LORD are flawless, like silver purified in a crucible, like gold refined seven times" Psalms 12:6), more encouraging than the Spirit walking alongside me, more beautiful than the life, death and resurrection of my Jesus? I'm so broken that those things don't always feel attractive to me. That's why God is at work in my heart every day, gently pursuing me with questions like these. Calling me to turn from my distractions to REAL satisfaction.

What are you looking for that you can't find in Jesus? He promises much, friends.

"My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me." Psalm 63:5

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And the earth has nothing I desire besides you." Psalm 73:25

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