Post-nap I let myself down. I blame it on the new sprinkler, which was supposed to be highly entertaining. Water's too high. Too low. Not the right setting. Spray the garden. Spray the baby and make him cry. Run away from scary bugs. Frustrate mommy and make her cry.
Later as I stirred our frozen Chinese food dinner, I leaned into my husband and cried, "This is too hard. I can't do this anymore."
I dream of having just one whole good day. Just one. Why can't everyone cooperate with that?
Now I want to curl up with my "world's worst mom" mug and eat chocolate. A lot of chocolate, or chips.
But here's the truth we all really need. As long as we look to ourselves and our performance as we trudge through the muddy trenches of motherhood or whatever calling we're obeying, we will continually despair. We will disappoint ourselves, and those around us will disappoint us, especially if they happen to be little and untrained.
So what things should we think about at the end of a bad day?
At the end of a bad day, we can repent toward God.
God, I'm sorry I let my emotions control my response to my children. I'm sorry for being controlled by my flesh and not your Spirit. Forgive me for living in my own power and not yours.
At the end of a bad day (or better right in the middle of it), we can repent toward the ones we've wronged.
Sweetheart, I'm sorry that I was not more patient with you when you . . .
Forgive me for not having self-control when I yelled about . . .
"For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death." 2 Corinthians 7:10
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." James 5:16Sipping from your "world's worst mom" (or whatever you are) mug will leave you stuck, but in repentance there is life. There is hope. There is a moving forward. There is a reliance on the Savior to transform you.
At the end of a bad day, we can drink up God's sweet mercy and steadfast love. It is set before us like the heartiest meal with the best wine. And it's FREE (see Isaiah 55). Will you take it? Will you let it soothe your soul?
By God's grace I had a good morning. All credit goes to Him, not me.
And by God's grace, I endured a bad afternoon, with God's grace covering all my sin. It's still about Him, not me.
He is why I can put this mess of a day to rest. HE is why I can face tomorrow. I don't need to face tomorrow with a determination to do better next time, to finally have that perfect day. I face tomorrow with a hope in HIM.
And I will not be disappointed.
I'd love to give away this print that I just added to the shop. Leave a comment here or on the Facebook post for this blog entry, and I'll choose a winner!