Heard Around Here: Volume 4



I like to collect the things I hear around our home and share them with you occasionally. They're a little glimpse into my everyday life. Here's my latest collection:

YES, WE ARE WINNING AT HOMESCHOOL:

Sarah (6) and I read about the birthplace of western civilization for history in homeschool. My parents came for lunch, and being a good homeschooling mom, I felt the need to prove that we're actually learning something.
Me: Sarah, tell Papa about the two rivers we learned about today.
Sarah: I don't remember.
Me: [not giving up] There was the Tigris and the . . . 
Sarah: The Eur-penis?
Me: [after recovering] It's the Euphrates!
. . .

Recounting her field trip to the creamery:
Me: "So, tell me how they milk all those cows."
Sarah: "Well, they attach these pumps to their thingies . . . what are they called?"
Me: "Udders"
Sarah: "Yeah. They attach the pumps to the gutters . . . "

. . .

Anna leaks random bits of information that proves she is actually listening.
Anna [four]: "One day, this guy broke off his ear." [talking about Van Gogh]

. . .


Anna: "How do you say hello in English?"
Me: "Hello . . . ?"
Anna: "No, in English."
Me: "That is English."
Anna: "So I speak English?"
Me: "Yup."




SOCIALIZATION:


Anna (4): [to Mom and Dad smooching] "Stop! You're married already."
Me: "You're supposed to kiss when you get married."
. . . 

Lily the lamb was banished to the top shelf of the built-ins because she became a source of sibling discord.
Sarah: "Mom, can I have Lily the little lamb? I LOVE her!"
Me: "You can't have her if you love her more than your sister."
Sarah: "I love her as much as my sister."
Me: "No, you have to love your sister more."
Sarah: "Okay . . . I love my sister more. Now can I have her?"

. . .

Anna: [coming downstairs after a meltdown] "When I come down from my room I say sorry to mom."
Me: "I forgive you Anna."

. . . 


SHAKE MY HEAD:

Anna comes downstairs on a rainy Sunday afternoon after taking a long nap in her footie pajamas.
Anna: "Why don't you make me take a nap every day mom?"
Me: "What do you think I've been doing the last four years of your life!"

. . . 

Anna: "Can I stay up and play a game?"
Me: "Did you take a nap today?"
Anna: "No."
Dad: "Then it's only fair that you go to bed now."
Anna: "No, that's not fair. . . Well, yes it's fair."

. . .

Me: "Anna where are your pants?"
Anna: "Oh. I forgot dem."

. . . 

Anna: [shirtless and holding her orange toothbrush] "Hey, I didn't know I could scrub my back with this."

. . .


Dad: [To a child in the middle of a conversation of why we should listen to our parents.]
"Who gave birth to you? Your Mommy and I did! I mean mommy . . . but I watched!"

. . . 

Anna: "Mom, mom! I accidentally drew on Sarah's wall."
Me: "How did that happen?!"
Sarah: "I gave her a marker and I thought she would use it for a microphone."

. . . 


BACKSEAT DISCIPLESHIP:

Anna: "Why do you talk about 'helpful'?"
Me: "Cause I need lots of help!"
Anna: "I don't need any help."
Me: "Why?"
Anna: "Cause I have God."
Me: "That's right. God gives us the Holy Spirit and calls Him the Helper. But don't you think God wants us to help each other too?"
Anna: "Yeah"

 . . .

Anna: [whining] "Mommy, I can't ride my scooter because the bar is too highhhh!"
Me: "What could you do about that?" [trying to prompt her to ask instead of whine]
Anna: "Ask God??"

. . .

Anna: [sung to the tune of "Ever Be"] "Your praise will never be on my lips, never be on my lips . . ."

. . .

INDOORSY:

Me: "When are you going to start using the mud kitchen again?
Sarah: "When we're a little older and we like bugs."
So probably never . . . 

. . . 

Anna: [running into the house from outside] "Mom, come see something really cool!"
Me: "What is it?"
Anna: "It's a dead bird!"

. . . 

Sarah chases Anna and sprinkles water on her head.
Anna: "Stop! This is my favorite head!!"



. . . 

PLAY ON WORDS

Me: "What rhymes with ham?"
Anna: "Hippo!!"

. . . 

Anna: "Hey, CHICKEN and CHICK-fil-A rhymes!!!"

. . . 

Anna: [singing] "My name is Spreadaletta. Spreadaletta Guess."

. . .

Anna on the use of "my dear" (after Mommy used it):
"I like 'my dear' because it's good for when you're going on a trip or a date or you're going to a coronation."

. . .


Anna: "Does my tongue look like a sled?"

. . . 

Me: "Would you like a whole bagel?"
Anna: "No, I would like two halves."
. . .
Is this not a thing? (Maybe I'm the only one that thinks this is funny).


POTTY RULES

Anna: "I accidentally dropped a lego person in the toilet and flushed it."
Me; "Are you supposed to have legos on the potty?!?"
Anna: "Don't tell Dad."
Me: "Next time, don't flush it. You have to fish it out if you drop it in."
Anna: "Well, I was flushing, and then  I dropped it."

. . . 


Me: "We do NOT nap on the potty"

(unnamed): "I just want to rest my back!"

What's been heard around YOUR house lately? I'd love to hear it.


For more "heard around here" posts, you can also check out:

CONVERSATIONS WITH MY FOUR YEAR OLD: VOLUME 3





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