When parents disagree

I'm sure it's happened since Adam and Eve. I imagine something like this:

Adam: "Why are you letting little Evie play out in the rain without her buckskin slippers?"
Eve: "Well, she hates shoes and I can't keep them on her, so I gave up."
Adam: "You can't just give up. We are the parents here, after all."
Eve: "What are you trying to say, dear husband? Do you think I'm unfit?"
Adam: "I didn't say you were a bad mother, dear. I just think you let her get away with things sometimes that you shouldn't." 
Eve: "Well, then YOU get her to keep her shoes on."
Adam: "I try when I'm here, but I've got to go out and get our dinner, keep the tents from leaking, and train our boys to hunt and fish."
Eve: "Well, who do you think I do all day!?!" Sniff!
[Impasse reached]

Sound at all familiar? 

Even though I watched my parents work through their own issues growing up, I am still surprised at the constant conversations my husband and I have to have about how we think we should raise our kids and run our household . . . and at how differently we would often see things.

My husband and I agree easily in many areas, thankfully, but we have our pain points.

He checks the garbage disposal before turning it on. I throw caution to the wind and let her rip (along with lots of things that have fallen in there). 

He prefers to let dishes "soak" and put his feet up after dinner. I make a big watery mess and get all the dishes done before the kids go to bed.

I'm time and task-oriented. He works in a completely different way that still mystifies me. I came home after taking our kids on a trip for a few days recently, and he surprised me with a clean house and several completed project I had no idea he intended to do. 

"Did you have a list?" I asked.

"No, I just thought of things as I went along," he said.

I don't have a ton of great advice about dealing with these differences, but here are two simple principles that are helping me right now:

1. Allow him his opinions and be willing to listen.
"Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future." Proverbs 19:20
Believe it or not, my way of seeing the world isn't always the best or the only way. If we can humbly accept that there is much God has to teach us, and that He can do it through all kinds of people, books, sermons, and situations, we will gain wisdom. Listen. Accept. Grow wise for the future.

2. Teach your heart to respond in humility instead of self-defense.
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful." 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
Don't take his observations about our children and my parenting as personal attacks. If I can accept that I am a great sinner in need of God's daily grace, then I can accept that there is room for improvement in my parenting. I can learn to hear from God through my husband, even when it hurts my pride.

I can ask, "Lord, what would you have me hear from my husband right now?" 

In Jesus, you have no need to prove yourself, or defend yourself or your image.
"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1 ESV)
In Jesus, you are free from all condemnation (and thus fear), so all that remains is repenting of sin and growing in grace!

This week's free printable coloring page is from Proverbs 19:20. You can download it HERE or by clicking on the image below!
PRAYING the Word
Forgive me for being resistant to instruction and counsel, and thus wisdom I could learn from you. Make me ready to listen and receive wisdom from wherever you might choose to teach me. Surround me with opportunities to become wiser.

QUESTIONS to ask about the verses:

1. What's an example of good counsel in your life?
2. 
What would the opposite of  "listening" and "receiving" look like?
3. Is it wise to always do what everyone tells you? Is that what this verse is saying?
4. What does God promise if you "listen and receive" these things?


*I'm so happy for you to enjoy my coloring pages and printables for your personal (not commercial) use! All artwork and photos are copyright Marydean Draws. If you share this, you're awesome (!), and as a courtesy,  please link back to this post and not the PDF file. Thank you!!




If you like this, you can get these posts in your inbox by signing up HERE! You'll also receive occasional news from my Etsy shop.

No comments